Nualia's Journal

Nualia's Journal

July 18, 4698. Dad said he was working on my birthday cake so he let me end my studies early today. I went outside and there were some boys from the Academy, they threw rocks at me and one hit me. I have a huge bruise, it bled some too. They called me a freak, and laughed at me. I was crying, so Father told me no one else is as gifted as I am and that my silver hair and violet eyes are a blessing from the goddess Desna. He said I’m an angel.

December 1, 4699. Master Gandethus gave us an impossible amount of work today and I was trying to finish up when I notice Amylee and the other girls at snickering and pointing at me, again. I did what teacher said and tried to ignore them, but they wouldn’t stop. I excused myself from my studies and hid in the bathroom for a little while, but when I wanted to get out the girls had piled furniture in front of the doorway. I was locked in there all afternoon and half the night, I screamed but no one helped me. When the candle went out it was so dark, I was scared I was going to die. Mr. Jervis came by and let me out; he was making some pretty wood birds for the stairs. I’m never going back to Turandarok again, Ezakien can’t make me. He’s not my real dad anyways.

March 10, 4700. I was walking home from Academy today, I took a shortcut past Cracktooth’s tavern and a bunch of boys from school were following me. The boys at school are always staring at me. They were saying disgusting things and hollering at me, it was Banny Harker I think. One of them called me a slut; I started running and dropped my work. Dad wanted to know why I was crying, but I just wanted to be alone.

March 24, 4700. The traders always gawk at me at the market, it’s not my fault I’m different. I wasn’t wearing my hat today, while I was picking up some things for dinner some old woman snipped off my braid with scissors. She told me that ‘Your silver hair will bring me luck’, as she walked off. I didn’t know what to say, but now I have a bald patch. Amylee and her little friends are going to make fun of me, I just know it. Father told me not to go out so much, that I should spend more time praying.

October 5, 4700. I was walking down Cliff Street minding my own and about a dozen of the farmers in for the harvest started crowding around me. I just wanted to go. They started telling me to cure them of their rashes and boils, they smelled terribly. I tried to be nice, but when I said I couldn’t one of them pulled my hair and started yelling in my face to cure his warts. They wanted to know when they should plant their potatoes, like how should I know. One of them told me I was the “blessed of Desna” and that my voice could drive away the voices he was hearing and that he was haunted by evil spirits. I screamed at them and I finally pulled away, but one of them pulled out some of my hair. They chased me all the way to the church. I locked myself in and they were pounding on the door. Why does this keep happening?

April 15, 4701. Father told me today that I would be sent to the Windsong Abbey on my 17th birthday, he didn’t even ask me. I don’t want to be a nun, I love Desna, but that’s not what I want. He’s not letting me go out until I do perfect on the verses, catechisms, and scriptures. I’m going to spend the whole summer locked up in this church. I just want to get out of here, be like everyone else.

February 3, 4702. I met a cute older varisian boy today at the market. I was at a fruit stand when I caught him looking at me. At first I thought he was just like the others, but then he asked me my name. When he spoke, I heard none of the fear or the hate that so many others bear for me. He is very handsome, I hope I meet him again soon.

February 9, 4702. I met the boy again today. My heart pounded when he looked at me. The Varisian boy wants me as I do him, I know. His name is Delek Viskanta. I whisper his name at night until I fall asleep, hoping I’ll be dreaming of him.

February 18, 4702. Today Delek took me on a picnic on a cliff that overlooks the Old Light. He talked to me like I was a person, we stayed there for hours. He’s the first boy who’s ever talked to me like this, not staring and all weird. I might be in love. Is this what love feels like?

February 25, 4702. Tonight my love threw rocks at my window and I climbed out. We’ve been meeting where we can, but tonight, while we walked along the beach beneath the Glassmakers factory, we found a little cave that went back a little way. We finally have a place to be undisturbed. I was scared at first, but we made love. Delek says that he loves me and we will run away to Magnimar and get married. He says he has family there we can stay with, this is moving so fast, but it feels right. Desna’s listening after all, thank you.

April 26, 4702. Father says he’s going to send me away to the Windsong Abbey, he doesn’t like me hanging around Delek. He says that I must remain “pure”, but I think I’m pregnant. I haven’t told anyone, but I’m going to tell Delek at the cave tonight when we sneak out.

April 27, 4702. How could he!!! He told me he lied to me, he’s leaving me, he told me he’s leaving for Magnimar and that I was nothing for him, just a whore. He told me he didn’t love me, he called me a fool and a little stupid girl. He walked away, what I’m going to do? I can’t tell my father…

June 11, 4702. My knees bleed from days of prayer. The cell, one of many on the Chapel, is almost bare, a stone bed and a rude symbol of Desna on one wall its only adornment. I’ve been praying for hours and she hasn’t answered me. Desna doesn’t care about me. She probably thinks I’m worthless too, why else would she allow this happen to me. Why did he do this to me? Delek, why do I still love you? I hate you!!!

June 18, 4702. After a week in my cell Father has released me, but I am still confined to the Chapel. He lectures me nightly on my sin and forces me to beg Desna for her forgiveness. I only wish he could just forgive me, so I would stop feeling so alone… But no, he’s more concerned about what people will say than about me. At least, soon I’ll have my child, and we will be together.

July 2, 4702. I’m so angry. Everyone’s been so mean lately, Father won’t let me out, he is ashamed of me, he keeps lecturing me day and night. I spend all my time alone in the Chapel, with nothing to do. I just can’t wait to have my child in my arms.

February 7, 4703. It seems almost a dream that night now. It was late, but I awoke in a fury. What came over me, I do not know. All I knew was rage, pervading me utterly, a force from without that poured through me. All I remember is the rage, the pain, the fear. Father called Hannah and the other midwives to help deliver my child. Two months earlier, in a bed of blood, I gave birth to my son. When he was born, the women stole it from me, not wanting me to see him, but the glimpse I took was enough. The disfigured body, the scales, the mouth too big for any infant filled with a multitude of sharp fangs. After that, everything became blurry and fell asleep. But I’m awake now. I don’t know how much time I spent sleeping, doesn’t matter. The dreams explained everything. My Mother has shown to me what I should do next. I must commit to her, and I’ll be rewarded. The baby is dead, but another reward awaits me: she will get rid of this taint if I do as she commands, if I become the conduit for her chaos and cruelty in this world.

February 9, 4703. My “father” is dead. Those fools from the town fell for it, they think it was an accident, and that I’m also dead. Anyways, Magnimar awaits for me now. Oh, Delek, I wonder how happy will you be to see me again.

March 21, 4703. This city is so big. It resembles in nothing to that stupid little town. People here seem to barely notice me –or if they do, they hide it pretty well. I’ve been asking around, it looks like it’ll take me more time than what I expected to find Delek. But my Mother encourages me in my revenge. I’ll do as she pleases.

May 15, 4703. I’ve been crawling through Magnimar’s most infamous taverns, and still no sign of Delek. And above all, some creepy fellows have been following me around town these past days. I’m beginning to lose my patience.

June 11, 4703. They came to talk to me. They offered help, and want nothing in exchange. I do not know this god they worship, nor I care. I don’t trust them, but they seem to know a lot of people in town, and they tell me they know where I can find Delek.

July 21, 4703. Oh, the pleasure to see your face, Delek, when you realized you were dying!! That this stupid, little slut had killed you!!! But it’s not enough. Not for me, not for Her. All must pay. All of them. Sandpoint must burn, with all those brutes along it.

August 15, 4703. The cultists took me to see their leader. He gave me a medallion, and told me that I owe them nothing, but they’d like to see me after my work is done. He says I have “potential”, that I have a larger role to play, and that my dreams are a map to my destiny. I’m more confident now than ever that I should return to that wretched town and turn it into a burning offering.

October 13, 4703. The moment I arrived to this hideous town, I found myself in this cave. It got me angry that, after all that happened, I still was so weak to keep thinking about him. But now I understand. It wasn’t memories what took me here. After I tore down the wall, I found another of my Mother’s servant: my new mentor.

March 22, 4704. The little witch is insane, but the knowledge she has is astonishing. I have learned of what the Catacombs held, her former master, the altar filled with Deskari’s sacred waters, the prison, the weightless chamber. She tells me Mother also told her I was coming, that I’m her new general, that we shall find our deserved glory together.

July 18, 4704. The Runewell draws the anger of wrathful souls to itself, when a death occurs within its sphere. It is strange –ancient and powerful, churning, bubbling, glowing, but freezing to the touch. After the mad woodcarver’s parade of murder and the fire that was my own work, it glows like a furnace. Erylium showed me how a blood sacrifice can summon forth a twisted monstrous soldier from its depths, born of the sin of wrath. Deskari’s blessing must truly be on this place. But the quasit also warns me not to overtax it, for fear of draining it entirely. With every soldier I draw forth, the runewell’s light dims.

November 11, 4704. I’m getting restless. Staying here all this time underground is making me impatient. But the little quasit won’t get out of here. She’s insane, but the powers that she’s showing me, I must endure.

February 8, 4705. Mother has sent me another vision. At last I know how I can bring about the wasteland I see nightly in my dreams, the Mother has send me the answer. After I finish my tutelage with Erylium, I must form an army and release another of her Chosen, a monstrous goblin wolf imprisoned in an underground room. He will not only help me achieve my vengeance against this putrid town, but also he will be my consort and the key to get rid finally of my celestial taint. I must release him. Blood sacrifice must be the answer. I will spill blood in Her name and burn corpses at Her altars to free the beast. When it is under my control, I will raze Sandpoint to the ruin I envisioned after the death of my child, and I will gain my reward – to be remade in Mother’s image, the rage of the Abyss writ upon my flesh.

April 25, 4705. The time is near. I must leave to Magnimar to find help. I must choose carefully, I won’t stand being betrayed again. Erylium is worried about me leaving her, but I promised that I will find a way to protect her until we destroy the enemy above, as she calls them.

August 13, 4705. I’ve arrived to Magnimar again. I must find bodyguards for me, but also scholars. Mother has shown me some strange runes that are key to release Her servant. I should stay close to this Society of explorers, if I’m patient a stray soul will soon arrive.

October 15, 4705. I found the Kaijitsu bastard. Fate has dealt him a hand nearly as bad as mine. He, too, has been an outcast, mistreated by his father. When I approached him in Magnimar, he seemed surprised to know I was alive, and quite eager to talk to me. When I told him I plan to burn Sandpoint to the ground, he jumped at the opportunity. He is no longer the boy I remember, but a man full grown. His form is pleasing to me, and we have much in common. I think he feels the same. Perhaps with Tsuto, I can bear another child for Mother.

January 25, 4706. My patience has rewarded me: I found the perfect sage. She seems delighted with the runes I showed her and with the possibility of studying the ruins at Thistletop with no restrain. Her knowledge of the arcane and of architecture will prove useful in divining a method to free Mother’s servant. She also sees to have taken a liking to Tsuto, however he has only eyes for me, and seems oblivion to her advances. I have told him that he should accept this opportunity to spread his seed further for the Mother, but he lacks interest in Her teachings.

March 20, 4706. I have found another recruit, a mercenary from Riddleport named Orik Vancaskerkin. Perhaps not as sympathetic to the cause as Tsuto, but he works for his pay. Although he accepted my offer to work for me as my bodyguard without question, I do not doubt the second I stop paying him he will turn on me. But the brothers have provided me with all the money I need, so I should worry only about fulfilling my task. I must now go to the place my Mother has shown me. I will have to make new alliances with more of her minions, but that will come easy, as they should not fail in see me as one of the Cursed by Her.

June 7, 4706. On the way to Thistletop, I’ve recruited a Shoanti named Jagen, not only as my bodyguard, but also as a guide. He confirms what I've seen in my dreams: the ruins are inhabited by a goblin tribe. They’re also Mother’s instruments, they’ll help me to spread Her chaos.

August 17, 4706. I’ve managed to make a pact with the tribe that lives in Thistletop. Their leader seems enthralled by me, and eager to please me, although his druid adviser has nothing but contempt for me. It doesn’t matter, I have more urgent matters than one stupid goblin. The moment I stepped into this place, I could feel his presence. The goblins have no idea where he is, but I will find him.

October 5, 4706. We’ve been exploring the complex, and we found a door that goes beneath. The place seems ancient, Lyrie ensures it belonged to the Thassilon empire. She is delighted, and spends almost her entire time studying the artifacts we have found. But what’s most important, I found a Temple dedicated to Mother. I consecrated the shrine to her through a sacrifice, and it finally happened: Malfeshnekor talked to me, and told me he was imprisoned in a chamber below. Now we only need to find the entrance to the next level.

December 9, 4706. Tsuto found a secret door that leads to a level below. We started investigating the chambers, but a trap made of Jargen a mess. It will take a while to clean everything up. Tsuto will explore gingerly every room searching for traps before we continue. We should be more careful.

January 18, 4707. I took a quick trip to Magnimar, to sell Jargen’s equipment and to search some books for Lyrie. I also bought a bed in a whim, but this will be the only concession towards luxury I may have.

February 18, 4707. There is a surprising new addition to our band. I was walking alone in the Nettlewood when I was attacked by a bugbear. After easily besting him, I asked his name and purpose. He is Bruthazmus, and he stalks the Nettlewood preying on travelers. It seems that he thought I was some kind of nature spirit and wanted to sell me to pirates. I offered him a job as my bodyguard to replace Jagen, a task that he seized upon gladly. He fawns over me treating me almost as a mother, but he does not get along well with the others. He specially dislikes Tsuto, and I have sometimes seen him playing with that elf-ear necklace of his while staring at my lover. I only hope it does not come to blood before my plans are complete.

March 30, 4707. I think I have found the chamber that holds Malfeshnekor imprisoned. There is a stone pillar that hides a chamber beyond, but it seems I cannot find the way to open it. I’m searching the rest of the complex for more clues.

April 28, 4707. These ruins are more dangerous that it seems. We found shadows in another room. Lyrie says they may be the trapped souls of the architects that designed the complex. She says it was usual in the old Thassilon to bury alive the few people that knew the details of the buildings, a sacrifice that most were more than willing to fulfill. I cannot take any more risks, I’ll have to find the answer to the pillar without exploring the rest of the level.

June 15, 4707. We’ve begun to discuss possible plans for the raid to Sandpoint. I’ve decided we’ll make a smaller ride first, to retrieve the Ezakien’s bones. Maybe if I offer them to Mother, she will help me to resolve this riddle. I believe it will be hell to agree in anything, but we cannot lose time in stupid arguments.

August 9, 4707. Tsuto keeps pushing with his idea of raising an army of freaks from the Runewell. It seems he doesn’t understand we cannot take such a risk, if the Runewell would be deactivated, nor Erylium nor I know the way to reactivate it again. We don’t even know what activated it in the first place.

September 10, 4707. We have finally chosen a plan. On the day of the Swallowtail Festival, Tsuto will lead the goblins on a raid of Sandpoint and steal Ezakien’s remains from the boneyard while the town deals with the attack. His bones shall burn to begin my rebirth.

September 24, 4707. Everything turned out as I expected. Mother has rewarded me with a promise of what’s to come. Many goblins perished, but these little vermin are anything but scarce. We must now plan the second, real raze. But for that, I must ensure our success releasing Malfeshnekor.

September 26, 4707. Some strangers found out Tsuto and his goblins in the Glassworks. I warned he should be more careful and let that stupid sister of him alone, but he wouldn’t listen. If they found any clues, our entire plan is endangered. I must hurry. I hope they don’t find Erylium. Maybe I should worry about her after all, but my rebirth is more important